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i am perfectly fine with having other people sit on my lap but i can’t sit on other people’s laps because i’m always paranoid that i’d crush them and they’d diE

(via ahumblenarrator)


“how to get annoyed at absolutely nothing” a book written by me

(Source: syardis, via ahumblenarrator)

(Source: bartowsky, via ahumblenarrator)


His expression while saying ‘nickel’ is priceless, omg.

(Source: sweet-everything01, via ahumblenarrator)

(Source: humorstop, via ahumblenarrator)


if you say that you don’t like any shitty pop music at all then you’re a liar

(via ahumblenarrator)


my ex texted me today “you can delete my number i don’t care anymore”

and i replied “who is this”


(Source: lindsaylohoean, via ahumblenarrator)